Friday, August 7, 2015

Welcome to Ice Cream & Authenticity!

WELCOME to Ice Cream and Authenticity!!! My name is Dionne. I started this blog after joining the beautiful Instagram community of friends in #REALrecovery Personally, I have been  battling anorexia for over ten years. It has been a long, grueling battle. Some years have been full of life and love and success and some have been darker with relapse and illness. I am in a new chapter of my life as I have recently gotten engaged to the love of my life and subsequently relocated to California (and away from family and friends) for my fiancĂ©'s job. I am so happy to be here with him, but it's also a major life transition and it's been quite bumpy recovery-wise. I'm also battling chronic illness, which I'll write about another time. Anyway, with all of these changes I am facing my recovery in new and different ways and I am challenging myself more than ever. I started this blog to keep myself accountable, as I believe that so much of recovery is AUTHENTICITY. You have to be true to yourself and others in order to truly be free of an eating disorder, and I plan to do that! I want to be accountable to me, even if no one at all reads this. And if anyone does read it, perhaps something you read will encourage you! So welcome!
I was going to keep this post very light and short and end there, but I think I will further explain the name. I have been considering starting a blog for weeks now and I knew it would have ice cream in the name. It might sound silly, but ice cream has been significant in the turning point I've reached in recovery recently. I don't like milk. I haven't liked it for as long as I can remember. I've also told people since I was very young that I don't like ice cream. Now, as I recently verified, I truly do not enjoy vanilla ice cream, as it reminds me of the taste of milk, but hand me some chocolate, and it's ON!!! Even since I've been in recovery for years, I have continued to tell people that I don't like ice cream. Why? Because it's always been a fear food, and I hate to admit this. It's shameful, really, but throughout over ten years of recovery and being weight restored for the majority of those years, I have held on to many of those fears and not allowed myself to indulge in them, How is that recovery?? Guess what? In truth, it's NOT. After starting my recovery Instagram account (@aimer_dionne) and reading an amazing blog, I have been challenging myself and my ways of thinking about recovery. It's time for REAL RECOVERY! I tried ice cream a few weeks ago and loved it! Since then I've had several pint parties and as I've posted on Insta, nothing crazy happened to my body- I didn't gain ten pounds overnight or turn into a blimp - sure, I had some bloating, but that's totally normal. So here I am.... Real recovery. No fear foods. No diets. No exercise regimens. No extremes (except I do have some weight restoration to do, so for now no exercise at all and I'm doing Minnie Maud guidelines). It might not be perfect because I'm not perfect. What I am and what I will be is AUTHENTIC. This is me and my authentic, honest, real recovery. 

Goodbye disorder. Goodbye anorexia.

Are there parts of your disorder that you've tried to hold on to in your recovery (i.e. exercise, food stuff, etc)? 
Are you still holding on to them? 
If not, how did you let go?  


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